MEU CORACÂO

So I apologize in advance if this email is overly emotional because this week has been and spiritual and emotional rollercoaster.

ALRIGHT so we said goodbye to some more friends yesterday and that was so hard because I love my friends that I've made here. Sister Wilcox and I had a really good talk about what it means to say goodbye to people and how wonderful it is that we have the opportunity to love and feel heartbreak and just feel these emotions and connections to people we serve and serve with and how much greater that love will be once we're actually out in the field! How great it is to be a missionary.

And then we had proselyting on Saturday AKA they took us to this big commercial part of São Paulo to give Book of Mormons and talk to people and, really, the idea of it doesn't scare me at all, but when we got out there, I had this weird kind of panic attack where I couldn't stop crying and hyperventilating and WELL it was rough. To be honest, I felt like a failure of a missionary. I've been getting the language really well and I've loved serving the people I've met but not being able to proselyte made me feel like I shouldn't have come on a mission. But after a good pep talk with my companion, she told me that God has a plan. He knows what I can handle and He sent me here because there are people's lives I need to touch and that need to touch mine. Wow, I wish I could convey in words how I felt afterwards but let's just say much better.

So Sunday was really good (Sundays in the CTM are my favorite) and Monday was good and then last night they dropped this bomb on us: our district family that is supposed to spend six weeks together in the CTM is actually two different districts combined into one. So they send us here to train for six weeks and then we head out to the field/various parts of Brazil. Anyway, turns out that, since they don't take in missionaries in the CTM the week of Christmas, half of us are actually going to be here for seven weeks instead of six. 

And holy cow one week isn't really a big deal but after the heartbreak of saying goodbye to my other friends, the thought of saying goodbye to half my district, half my family that I've grown so close to here kind of ripped my heart apart. Maybe this is more dramatic than it should be but I can't express how much I have grown to love Sister Hales, Sister Wilcox, Sister Lyman, Elder McClary, Elder Shawkey, Elder Taylor, and Elder Forsgren.

Which kind of brings me back to the talk Sister Wilcox and I had. How wonderful it is to be able to open your heart and serve and love people! I have learned to be patient and humble and put other people above myself more in the past five weeks than, well, ever. And I am so eternally grateful that my Heavenly Father put me here, in Brazil, at this time, to meet the wonderful people I've met and love them and feel a portion of the neverending love that Christ has for them. They refer to charity in the scriptures as the pure love of Christ and HOLY COw I've learned to love these people more than anyone other than my family. I will be forever grateful that I've been blessed with this opportunity to serve a mission and be so open with who I love and WOW I can't even imagine what being out in the field will be like.

Saying goodbye to the other three sisters in my district will be so hard next week but I am so glad I have gotten to know them and I am just so so so grateful for this mission and OH MY GOODNESS I AM SORRY THIS EMAIL IS SO LONG.

I LOVE YOU ALL.

Thank you for all the support and love  ♥

Todo meu amor,

Sister Morata

P.S. Since my companion is leaving next week and I'm not I get to be a solo sister for a week AKA I won't have a companion and not planning out my day in coordination with another person is going to be SO WEIRD and slightly lonely but I know that I'll have a blast hanging out with the other three elders that get to stick around with me.

I love Club Social crackers, the end

AIGHT FRIENDS

Another week gone by. I can't believe it! Not much has changed over here. 

WELCOME HOME TO MY AMIGA SISTER TURNER!

This week has been rough mentally, but we push through and it's good! I've made it a goal to read the Book of Mormon in 19 days...in Portuguese!!! I don't know what I was thinking when I made that goal, but it felt right. It's a lot of reading everyday hahaha but it's awesome.

So some funny stuff happened this week! I guess we were being a little fubeca (not exactly obedient haha) and our Elders started bench pressing each other while the instructor was out of the room and it was hilarious. One of our Elders is 6'2 and is a twig so he made a great bar to bench hahahaha okay maybe this sounds really lame in retrospect but it was really funny at the time (until an instructor came in and started yelling at us...oops)

And an awesome thing happened today!!! We were at the temple this morning and this 4 foot 6, tiny tiny tiny, 90something year old lady came up to us with the biggest smile on her face and starting trying to talk to Sister Hales and I in Portuguese and we couldn't understand and she just started giggling with her hand to her mouth and she was seriously the cutest little lady! After she realized how not very good we are at Portuguese, she gave us some advice. I still didn't understand most of it but I caught two words that she repeated a bit: felizes and alegria. Happy and joy! It's just a good reminder after the stress of these weeks that we need to be happy!!! We have the knowledge that Jesus Christ is our Savior and that is a reason to smile!!!

Anyways, I love you all so so much. Thank you for all your emails and support ♥

Todo meu amor,

Sister Morata

BRAIN FART

Another P Day (day to shop/email/laundry/etc) already?? The weeks are going by so fast! It feels like I sent my last email a couple days ago.

Aaaaanyways, so much happened this week but as soon as I sat down at the computer I forgot it all! 

New Year's Eve was so rad. We got to stay up until midnight!!!!!! (usually it's a strict light's out by 10:30 policy) And we had more ice cream!! And wore jeans again!!! I love holidays in the CTM!!!

Oh and I love love love my district so much. They're like my family. These past couple nights we've been spending part of our daily planning time (oops) to go around and all share something meaningful about a specific missionary in our district. So. Much. Love. Oh and does anyone from BYU know an Elder Shawkey?? or anyone from Vegas know an Elder McClary? Or anyone from SVU know a Sister Wilcox?? 

Portguese is also coming along great. I understand 90% of the gist of what people in the CTM tell me and they all tell me I speak good Portuguese so yay!!! Still pleeenty to learn though. 

Also, one of my favorite activities of every day is atividade fisica (like PE time) and we pretty much just play volleyball for 45 minutes with the Brazilians. I LOVE THEM. They are SO nice and SO funny and it's just so incredible to have fun with people even though we don't speak the same language. 

I love love love it here. AND I LOVE LOVE LOVE ALL OF YOU.

Have a rad week meus amigos!!

Todo meu amor,

Sister Morata

P.S. If you email me, please send pictures of you/your life because I love seeing pictures!!!!

Beware the Guiaba

Another week down & loving it so much!!!

We had the raddest Christmas here (muito legaaaaal) and we got to wear normal people clothes! And not take classes! And eat ice cream! AAAAND they played a Christmas movie and it was not a church movie!! Pretty much my Christmas weekend went like this:

1. Lots of volleyball 

2. ICE CREAM BUFFET (although ice cream here has a different consistency here but it's ice cream so whatever haha)

3. I wore jeans?!?!?!? 

4. We watched Home Alone

aka I was a missionary who didn't totally feel like a missionary for 6 hours haha. And then I got to call my family!!! That was so nice. It was good to hear their voices because I lalalalalove them.

As for the rest of the week, there hasn't really been much other than classes and trying to use less and less English every day (the instructors get mad at any Brazilians who talk to us in English, woops). 

OH and the guiaba (guava): so a friend o mine, Sister Wilcox, was just casually eating her guava the other day when she found a WORM IN HER GUAVA. And she kept it. In her guava. In the classroom. As a pet. Until our Elders wanted to show off our new pet and showed it to another American (mostly) district and the one Australian Sister (Sis. Cramer, she's so cool) was all, "Oh, I'll eat that." And then

she actually

ATE IT.

Let's just say I'm staying away from the guava from now on.

But on a spiritual note, I was reading through Preach My Gospel and under the section about the Atonement, it said that, when Jesus Christ suffered for our sins, He stood in our place. He suffered for us and stood in our place. And now, as a missionary, it is my duty to stand in His place. To serve others with His hands, to teach people with His words, and to love others with His heart. This work has nothing to do with how I can become a better person through my mission. As David A. Bednar said: "Get out of the way!" This is not about me. This is so much more. And I'm so grateful for this opportunity to serve and to share it with you all. 

Thank you for all your love, support, and prayers (especially for my family!) I love you all!!!!

Todo meu amor,

Sister Morata